good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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