I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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