It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
