You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
