we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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