dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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