Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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