I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
