pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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