Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize