let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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