It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
