Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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