And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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