the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
