i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
