i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
