GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
