yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
