One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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