i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
