You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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