I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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