3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
