Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
