Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
