i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
