Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
