I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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