Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
