Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
