We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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