I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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