with your own penis?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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