haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize