He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
