spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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