I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
