Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
