I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
