I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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