I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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