HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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