I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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