What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
