My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
