oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
