he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
