You work out of a Hotel?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
