I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
