I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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