i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
