Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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