? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
