my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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