So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
