fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
