I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
