so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
