I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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