If i could tip my vagina, i would.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
