if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize