i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
