Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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