I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
