Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
