Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
